I make friends. I'm social. I'm chatty. I talk to people. We discuss similar interests. Oh you like dancing in bars by yourself at 2am? So do I. Oh you also like drinking bourbon by yourself in empty bars after you've finished dancing? So do I. Oh you like watching dark, depressing, and morally-troubling films at empty art house theaters? So do I. And you like waffles too? Let's be friends.