I wake up feeling tired and crawl out of bed and go into the kitchen. I put my cell phone in the toaster. When it is a nice golden brown, I butter it, and place a soft boiled egg on top. I try to eat it. It's not very good. This is unacceptable. I need a change. I go on a quest to look for energy. Where do I get energy? Who has energy? Exactly: children. I hire them to work for me. They do the laundry, cooking, cleaning, my taxes. I pay them a fair wage. I give them nap breaks and cookies. It's going well but then they want a raise. I have to let them go. Children are just so difficult. I can't afford them. I need to find energy elsewhere. I tap into the power of the universe. There's a plug I found that I insert into my body. I won't tell you where. I get my energy from the stars now. I don't even need a phone. Phones don't matter. I have phones for dessert. I'm tapped into the power of the sun and moon now. I'm unstoppable. Here give me your cellphone, I'm hungry. I'm going to eat all the cellphones. Arrrgh.